This is what I wrote in the December when dad was very ill and we thought we were going to loose him then, it was later used with some more words added including a letter which he wrote my mum..he was such a fighter and asked none of us for help, he just got on with it, and now we know he suffered a great deal on his own. The last week, he had so many visitors at his bedside and he opened his eyes to everyone who visited him and smiled. He made us laugh, up to the end, once saying.' I'm sorry to keep you waiting'...he counted from 89 to 1 and my mother and myself rushed to his bedside to say goodbye, he then said,'I'm going', we cried and hugged him and bid him farewell, he laid down and then gasped and said' I'm not playing this game anymore'...this proved to be important to my mother and myself, as the night he was dieing I was alone with him and I knew time was short...I phoned my mother who had said that she did not want to be there at the end. The nurse came into the room and said dad was frowning and that this usually meant that someone else needed to be there, I thought and thought and then it suddenly hit me, the practice run the day before and how well mum had coped, she was there very quickly. I asked dad through my tears if I had done the right thing and he winked, on returning to the hospital mum asked if he knew she was there and he smiled...It was the saddest day of my life, when my dad left us, and I cannot describe how I feel. This board has helped so much..I have read all the bio's, and post and feel that I know many of you on here. However something else I know for sure is that this disease is no respecter of persons, it claims many victims and lies dormant for a long time before it shows its ugly head, usually when it is to late..I pray for a quicker diagnosis and that through this board we can work together to find a cure..
When dad was told that he had cancer......his response was to say 'oh well I had 62 years more than I had planned for'. He later came to visit me Frances at her home and told her that he never expected to have a wife and children...He thought that because of his burns he would never meet a woman. He told us one night that when mum came into his life he couldn't believe it!! Dad was always trying to put across that he was as hard as nails( old school as they say) Well he didn't always succeed in putting that across, especially when he got ill. He was very poorly in December and because of this he spoke from the heart, one thing he kept saying was how much he loved mum and that she was a wonderful wife.
Mum and dad met in the British Legion..he saw mum and asked her friend Rose who was this woman? The second time he saw her he pulled the chair out for her to sit on and the final time he saw her there was thick fog and no buses were running and so he asked if he could walk her home...And that was ..the start Now what else can I tell you about our dad???? He loved football and we all knew it if he was watching a match, we needed to be quiet...But he loved football before Frances came into the world. A quick visit to see her and back to the football match. He loved walking and used to take us on on quick shortcuts that took about four hours. He loved country and western music and Irish music, every Sunday we would be woken up by Gall way Bay, 21 years, give an Irish Girl to me, we heard Gypsy woman, Tammy Wynette, Roy Orbison..you name it and we suffered it!!! We were the best knowledge children when it came to ( old fogy ) music at school..
He had a lot of knowledge about funny things and he used to give us questions and answer...One time he said ' What is a dingo'? and someone said a kangaroo..that had us laughing for hours. Steve our brother was playing eye spy with him and he said T I F T J C I T R??? Steve sat guessing for hours and then he said..the invisible fly that just came in the room..we laughed so much. He loved darts , well he had a dart board in the living room. As kids we played darts regularly..I remember the time Ray thew a dart and it hit mum on the head, when the blood appeared Ray disappeared..it was well funny.
He would look at the young ladies as all men do..mum would just say are you having a good look..he would clean his glasses and say what do you mean...well you were looking so hard, I'm surprised that you cannot tell what color their underwear is....it was always funny.
Christmas Day was always a good day to get us wound up. Breakfast was always a fry up( large) and we had to eat it all, followed by a good wash and getting dressed( he knew we hated waiting. Then one year he he lead us outside and got us all excited,,to see our presents and then he showed us them through the window.
His younger brother Colin, was always there through thick and thin, and always looked out for him.We as a family would like to say thank you to him for loving our dad the way he did.
I could tell you so many things about our dad but it would take up to much time..All we can say is that at Christmas he made sure he visited us all, and he tied up any loose ends and we will love him for that...he was so ill and weak and yet he showed us all how much he loved us. He was never a soppy man, and we all knew that by making the journeys to all our house and Frances so far away, he showed us what was important to him.
To all of his friends at Hoy lake, who have made this past 9 years happy for him, and to all friends who are here to see him off on his final journey, to his twelve grandchildren and 7 great grandchildren, who we know he loved with all his heart, He left this message play the football theme at my funeral and Paddy Mcgintys Goat...don't be miserable and have a good day on me...so I hope we will, cry a little and laugh a lot....... and remember the good things about our dad.....
Many words were added to this and some are very personal. He was a lovely man who showed all what was important, family, family and family... to the 200 hundred people who turned up to his funeral, and the 70 cards he received and hundreds of pounds in donations to cancer research this is the remarkable man known to all as PADDY and known to me as DAD, my FRIEND
God Bless my dad, he will be missed by many