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Reply was posted 04/06/2008 01:05 pm by Rose's Daughter - Jennifer
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I'm having the same problem with my father getting upset and not asking the right questions. I'm 35 and more informed than he is. He yells at me, starts to swear, threatens me by telling me he will stop my relations (caring and all communications will cease) with my Mother etc., as well as telling me that her doctor is not to be questioned with anything because he could refuse her as a patient. With all that said, stay together mentally and physically, care for your Dad irregardless, and understand that everyone copes differently. My father cannot cope, instead he yells, etc. I've read that some feel that they are to blame, guilt, or just the shock of the whole picture. Be re-assuring to your Mother, listen to her concerns and then voice yours in a humble and 'knowledgeable' way. That's how I've learned to 'talk' to my Father. The treating hospital for my Mother is 100 miles away too and needless to say, the trip can be a stressful. Just chin up and keep the faith, keep Mom in the know about pain management and possible side effects from the stents (my Mother is experiencing pain and blames it all on the stent, but the stent has really proven to be a great help). As for diet, we were told; low fat (veggies, fruit, puddings, jello, chicken/turkey, stay away from dairy-cheese, milk but take in the non fat kind) high protein (sirloin over ribeye), high fiber (get the Fibersure out of the cupboard-only whole wheat bread!), low sodium (Morton's lite salt), sugar (if not diabetic - my Mom isn't but my Dad is----cokes, ginger ale, tea, 1 cup of coffee w/caffiene at least once a day, water water water all day for the bile to stay down) and Ensure or Boost Plus twice a day. Hope this info helps. We still don't know all there is to know with the diet, but there is a somewhat of a good start. The stress is through and through my blood as well, I cannot sleep or concentrate outside of this disease. I think this is what 'auto pilot' means. I'm hear to listen, help and be helped.

Make sure your Father knows everyday that you are there for him. This will give him security.

May God bless you, Jennifer - Rose's Daughter

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