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Pancreas Cancer

Stephen was posted 06/01/2007 07:12 am by Mary Y- PA
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I see the stress and worry on my family's face as we weather this storm. With every new unexplained pain or additional test for whatever reason, it takes it's toll on all of us. Even before my whipple I asked my husband how far he wanted to go with this. He said 'as far as you're willing to'. I want to hang on for them, but I'd much prefer to see them happy and going about their normal lives--not constantly fussing over me.

I guess we look to our loved ones for approval to let go for fear that something remains unsaid or unfinished. We pray for their happiness and hope that they have the strength to go on without us. The story of my life is almost at an end, yet there are unwritten chapters in my husband's and children's books and I want those chapters to be of fulfilment of dreams and goals, love, laughter and peace not marred by sorrow and grief for a journey ended.

There are no guarantees when it comes to how much time we share with those we love in life. Our legacy lies with those who carry us in our hearts and have been touched by what we have accomplished. And, if by chance, we take time to truly appreciate everyone and everything around us, we have been blessed and our lives will not have been in vain.

Stephen, the pain you feel now will wane with time. Please take comfort in knowing you did all that you could do and your dad found peace in being able to let go. I can only imagine how proud your father was of you at this final display of selfless compassion.

You and your family are in my prayers.

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