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My dearest friend Paul was diagnosed with advanced PC the first weekend in April. I was his health care proxy, I accompanied him to doctors, I helped to coordinate 24 hour coverage by family and friends (he was too weak and confused to stay alone). In addition to the PC with liver mets, Paul had major problems with clots and bleeding - before his PC diagnosis, he had been diagnosed with DVT (deep vein thrombosis) -- a very unusual diagnosis for a healthy man of 55 who walked everywhere! I later learned that clots and bleeding problems are frequently seen with PC. Over the next few weeks, Paul had more trouble with clots - leading to a pulmonary embolism, a heart attack, and a mild stroke. He was on anticoagulants - but those led to several bleeds.

Paul did receive one treatment of Gemzar - - but his cancer was just too advanced. Seven weeks after diagnosis, he had another major GI bleed, and a scan of his head indicated 'many' small clots scattered in his brain. He lost consciousness with that bleed, and died two days later.

Paul was a wonderful man - smart, funny, gentle, compassionate. He touched many lives for the better. Paul and I shared an unconditional love -- a love which was rare and precious between friends. I was honored to be able to care for Paul during his illness, after he had given me so many years of love and friendship. I'm looking for ways to pay that forward - to repay the universe in some way for the great gift I was given in loving Paul and being loved by him.

I have continued to participate in the discussion board in that spirit -- trying to reach out to other caregivers.


Posted 08/12/2006 04:34 pm by Didi
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