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Pancreas Cancer

PAM.. was posted 02/28/2006 01:11 pm by Rainmaker
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Dear Pam.. This question..this dilemma that is beyond a human beings ability to comprehend has been asked and answered a 100 times in the 4 1/2 yrs I've posted here. Every once in a while I will attempt to give my views. It is such a overpowering made for Godlike wisdom that I always hold my breath before I hit send. I would 'never' give a direct reply. I only answer from the deeply felt feelings I have for human suffering. No-matter what I write it always comes back to the patient..always. It is their life. It can only be their question to answer. My idea of quality of life will differ from yours..and yours from another poster.I am weak in many ways. The demands that I personally attach to having a quality of life can seem like those of a warrior whose seen too much war. I would not battle hell and misery for an extra few months..or yrs of life. The complicated thing about PC is it's unpredictability. During my recover there were moments when I wanted to leave. I held on because I didn't know how long this darkness would last. I was weary and afraid. Is this what it's going to be like? If I knew the answer was yes I would have ended the show. I held on..like we all do..and like many of us it got better. Today I am alive. My quality of life is not what I'd want..but it is what was given. I am a man. There are many things that could happen to me that would alter my quality of life. I will know when I've run my course. I will not wear a diaper. I will not allow myself to be humiliated in any way. I must feel at least some of the passions of life..and of being a man. And it is all so powerfully personal. It may not be understood. It may be viewed as the cowardly way out..but there is no question it will be my choice. I would expect those who loved me to honor my wish..regardless of personal feelings. I do not know what awaits if and when that decision comes. I only know that it is my life..and I do not need to live forever to have a full life. I truely wish you and your loved one the best. Please take care..Ray..

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*DISCLAIMER: This page is an unmoderated forum, and the opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the viewpoint of The Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions. Patients are advised to consult their personal physicians before making any medical decisions.
FULL DISCLAIMER


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