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Pancreas Cancer

Hope was posted 07/01/1999 09:05 am by Jane
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Survivor, you are absolutely right when you say we should live each day as our last...but practicing that is not always easy. My sense of well being can be shaken and my sense of humor can get lost in the shuffle of more bills than money; kids who can challenge my last ounce of patience, no family to speak of to help with my burden along with my physical limitations from the Whipple. When I'm at my wits end and ready to throw in the towel, I remind myself of all the people here. I think of Judi, EvaJ, David T, Betsy and Jerry (JsBrown) who are fighting the battle of their lives. I think of Dagmar, Gosia, Ray, Marti's Roy, Chris A and all the countless others who are fighting and have fought, right along with their loved ones. (I'm sorry I shouldn't name names but those names just popped into my head -- my regards to EVERYONE here). They give ME hope and keep me from feeling sorry for myself. I think it is important patients and care givers KNOW there are people who have beaten the odds and defied their death sentence. It is important to have hope! If it makes someone feel better knowing how "long" someone has lived with pc or after a Whipple, so be it. I have suffered from survivors guilt over the years and have tried to put my guilt into a positive light. I have asked "WHY" have I survived this nasty disease... "HOW" was I so lucky to be diagnosed early and able to live thru a successful Whipple and "WHAT" can I do to make a difference. Physcially I have paid my dues to this monster disease. I pay my dues every single day I wake up and will suffer the consequences of the Whipple for as long as I live. I am proud and humbled to be a five year survivor. I met a woman whose young husband was diagnosed with pc. She was SO angry her husband was not a Whipple candidate and nearly tore my head off when we discussed their options. If I had been alone in the room with her, I think she would have punched me out. Six months after her husbands death, I bumped into her (I can't help but feel the need to duck when I see her (grin) but she isn't angry at me, she's angry at this horrific disease and what it took from her. What she doesn't understand is she is a survivor too. We ALL are survivors in this game called life. It isn't how long we have but how we can make our lives account for something, but we all need hope.

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*DISCLAIMER: This page is an unmoderated forum, and the opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the viewpoint of The Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions. Patients are advised to consult their personal physicians before making any medical decisions.
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