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Pancreas Cancer

Waiting for Hospice(long) was posted 01/31/2006 01:15 pm by darlene-ca
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Dear friends, Yesterday at the oncologists, Jason again decided that it is time to call it quits to chemo and call in hospice. (Last time we had the appt. - he ended up in the hospital - had the gastro bypass, then the green filter for blood clots, and most recently his Ascites drained twice))He has lost so much weight it now makes him sad to see his once muscular shoulders & biceps gone & looking like a warcamp victim.

HIs oncologists has left the door open to go back to chemo even if he called in hospice saying she still thought he could benefit BUT of course no guarantees and since he so adament about stopping She will do all she can to support him. --

So what happens last night, his pain could not be controlled and we had to go to the ER around 11:30 pm. We got back around 3 a.m. and when I got up this a.m. Jason tells me that at 4 a.m. he has blood in his urine.

Have put a call into the doctor and talked with Hospice (hopefully, it is 'just' a urinary infection) and now waiting for the call backs...

Wow - even after Jason was dx. and he had varying chemo side effects, I naively thought that he would NOT end up having so many problems.. And each time, something is done, I think oh this is it!!- this will give him (us) some relief for a while. He will be able to get a little stronger, he will be able to do some things that he likes to do - but then something else occurs..(I used to wonder why people would go through some treatments when they could not be cured. NOW I KNOW!! It is the hope of relief...)

I still have that hope but it is now too sad ... (This is why he doesn't want to do more chemo, he doesn't want to string out feeling bad for just the few weeks he has read about statistically. )

Sorry friends - I liked it so much better when I could post hopeful visions of Jason responding to chemo, planning vacations and tinkering on his projects. HE is 17mths post dx. (I am thankful for that)

-- Our family & friends are again rallying around us and set up a schedule of visits to bring much needed energy and diversion to our home. So hope does continue. (thanks for listening while I wait for the calls.) Love Darlene

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