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Pancreas Cancer

Update was posted 06/30/1999 06:06 pm by gosia
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We are back at the hospital today for draining mom's belly and also the doc said that we could try one more chemo which is commercially used for colon cancer. She suggested it because it interacts with the topoisomerase that RFS2000 interacts with. So tonite is the draining, and tomorrow is the chemo. I am desperately searching all over the place to get the Ras inhibitor or the FTI but I can not find it anywhere. There are no trials and I guess this is my last attempt to do something. The doc said mom has days. This is crazy, and she said that mom will just go to sleep and this will be nothing dramatic. What a job,to predict what someones death will look like. I myself am in some plastic box, and all this is happening but my brain is not registering what is happening here. This is not real. Her heart is going to stop, for ever and I will NEVER see her again. This is way too much for me, I have a feeling that I will crack. I find myself staring at her jugular vein just to make sure it is still moving. And that her heart is still beating. Should I wake her up and talk with her? Or should I just let her sleep? Do I ask, where do you want to die? Do I ask what should I name my kids? What do I say, help, don't let me forget anything, please make suggestions. This is it, is it?Gosia

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