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Pancreas Cancer

I can relate was posted 06/30/1999 04:51 pm by Eve
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Lisa, boy can I relate to your message. My sister was in denial for months. Even though she was repeatedly told this was terminal cancer and that no treatments were being given she never really accepted it. Most times she accepts it; however, last week she talked about making sweetshirts that my Dad can use this Winter. It's been 7 months since diagnosis without treatment and given his current condition there most probably won't be a "this winter". Regarding hospice, it was suggested to me that we call hospice in sooner than later. This would give the family and patient an opportunity to get to know the people and develop a relationship before they are in crisis mode. This has helped a lot. My Dad is comfortable with hospice. However, at times he talks about getting better and getting frustrated because he isn't. It was suggested to me by someone on this board that when people talk like this even though they know deep down inside, it is a way of their keeping hope alive. Some families deal with crsis this way. Has your MIL's doctor had a frank talk with your FIL and/or husband? You are in a tough spot being the daughter-in-law. In addition to my Dad dying from PC, I'm in the same boat with my FIL who is also ill. Recently I wanted to make suggestions; however, it's difficult and sometimes not accepted. Is it possible they really don't understand how serious this illness is without treatment? Has your husband ever read this site? Would he? Without this knowledge he may think you are just being pessimestic? Hopefully by reading this site or having a serious discussion with someone from the medical profession, he would come to accept this illness. Would your husband be open to talking to hospice? Perhaps if your husband understood he could help his Dad through this, provided his Dad wanted to really know? I'm sorry, I've posed more questions than answers. This is a difficult one. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Eve

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