Her GP did not have enough specialist knowledge, her gastro surgeon did not really know what to do about her ongoing pain management, and the oncologist we first saw was a complete a###### who was more interested in getting away for his Christmas Break than caring for my Mum in any way.
As mum had extensive secondary cancer in her liver she decided not to do chemo. Her reasoning was that her liver would not be able to cope with the toxins in the chemo and the treatment (here in Australia) was palliative at best (so the doctors said becuase her cancer was so late stage).
When she decided not to do chemo, the first oncologist dropped her like a hot potato.
Eventually a hospice nurse became involved and she reccommended a very good oncologist who respected her decision not to do chemo, thought she was being sensible in her situation, and set about getting all of the medication, pain and otherwise under control.
His mantra to Mum was there is no reason in this day and age why a person with cancer should have to suffer pain.
My suggestion is to speak to some local palliative care nurses and ask them who they would reccommend when your Mum does not want to do chemo. Seeing the second oncologist was the best thing for Mum.
Like you I had difficulty in accepting that Mum did not want to do chemo, but at the end of the day at least she had the final say about her her body, and what to do (though I cried about it a lot at the time).
You are both in my prayers, and I hope you find a good new doctor. Love Cathy
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