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Pancreas Cancer

I'm Right With You was posted 03/24/1997 05:43 am by Ellen C
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Lori, Colleen, and Pam I am right with you all on this one. Disregard Dr. Peters' comments, perhaps he doesn't realize how insensitive his comment really was. Hopefully, for his patients sake, he doesn't make a habit of making quick judgments ab out someone's situation. Not only was his telling you that you are having difficulty accepting the facts totally out of line, but for him to say that the doctor was right and that you should somehow empathize with the doctor's plight. Boy, how insensitive of you Lori, how could you not take into consideration the doctor's inability to admit that he doesn't have the slightest idea of the proper course of action to take. Why, you are only dealing with the harsh reality of knowing that y our father has one of the most deadly forms of cancer and that probably for the first time in your life you are forced to come to grips with the most horrible feeling of not being able to do anything about it. Dr. Peters, do you know why Lori had a difficult time accepting the facts? Because she didn't get all of them. The whole picture and all of the dynamics that go with it were not sufficiently laid out in front of her. But I suppose that the patient and the family must suffer thro ugh this and to quote your pearls of wisdom "appreciate how the dr. feels". Is the notion so ridiculous that perhaps there are doctors out there who are not competent. For goodness sake, there are many examples on this forum that underscore Lori 's plight and probably many more which were not stated. Yes, I do speak from experience with my father who died from pc and with my brother who is now on the road to recovery from testicular cancer. My brother's initial doctor gave an insuff icient treatment option and so we brought him to Sloan Kettering for a second opinion and thank God we did. He was treated with dignity as well as with competent care. We brought my father there also after finding out he had cancer. His init ial doctor was not only offended by our decision, but downright nasty and difficult. The outcome was still the same, but the delivery of the news as well as the personal treatment of the patient cannot be compared to the first doctor. You see, it is not always the facts that make the situation unbearable, sometimes it is the bedside manner which hurts just as much. Dr. Peters, please don't ever say to another suffering human being that they are having difficulty dealing with the facts and that this is why she is questioning the doctor's ability to help her dad. I'm sure you are aware that you are leaving her with no real defense. Of course she is emotional right now, but that does not mean that she cannot make unclouded deci sions about the treatment her father is receving. Kudo's to you Lori and everyone out there who is staying on top of their loved one's doctor. I did and do not regret a single moment of it. At least I know everything possible was done. I woul d like to quote some true words of wisdom spoken by my father about a week before he died, "You are my pitbull. You don't ask too many questions. I know people who have asked more questions about cabinets." My father was a carpenter. I was with my father through it all and I have memories that I'll cherish about how he depended on me to find out all I could. Your loved ones appreciate all that you do for them. Looking out for their best interest is something that they are too sick to do for themselves and will probably leave them with a sense of your love and devotion. Everybody needs to feel protected. This Dr. Peters is the personal side of accepting facts.



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