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Pancreas Cancer

Dawn was posted 07/31/2002 02:26 pm by kerrie
E-mail Address: kerrieanne16@yahoo.com

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Hi Dawn, I understand completely what you are saying. I only found this board AFTER my mother died and yet when I read the posts from everyone I thought-what is wrong with me? My mom was my best friend, we did everything together, and yet I'm still going on-I'm not falling apart, not having cying fits-so do I belong on this site? Truth is that I felt relief for quite a few months. I just couldn't stand my mother in pain anymore, and knowing the emotional torture she was going through. My mom (54) did not know how bad everything was. We (my dad, brother and myself) knew what the docs were saying but we chose to live each day with hope and not fill her mind with the dreadful statistics. So it was hard going into mom everyday and her not knowing. Anyway, after months of feeling numb or on automatic pilot-eventually the emotions came. I never ripped apart at the seams, but it was incredibly difficult. I kept thinking, no matter how irrational, that God somehow took away the disease but that somehow, someway my mother was going to return. As if she just needed to go away for a short time to get a rest. For now, enjoy the fact that you are functioning and not falling apart-and NEVER feel guilty for not crying. WE ALL grieve so differently. The other side is not only for when you are upset, but for support, to share information on how to fight this disease, and to just support one another throught the phase of trying to find our footing on a very different path of life than we had ever intended and to celebrate happy things in our lives. We will always be here for you, and never feel that you are greiving 'wrong'-know that it takes incredible strength to come back time and time again and help others-you are doing an incredible service to so many people. Personally, I find THAT therapeutic. OK-I'm rambling. Talk to you later Dawn, and post wherever you feel comfortable. THinking of you-Kerrie

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*DISCLAIMER: This page is an unmoderated forum, and the opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the viewpoint of The Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions. Patients are advised to consult their personal physicians before making any medical decisions.
FULL DISCLAIMER


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