Pancreas Cancer Web

Bereavement Discussion

Leanne was posted 11/29/2018 09:17 pm by Bj in GA
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I Just read your message. So sorry you lost your dad to this dreadful cancer. How loving that you chose to be his caregiver. I can only imagine what your decision meant to him. Please donít tear out your grieving heart remembering his last days and seeing just that time frame from your exhausted viewpoint and as your dominant memory. Although we all do that itís just not the whole picture. You are a loving and caring girl who came in when everyone else went out-. Take comfort in the love you showed.

And please research Caregiverís Syndrome, a condition that you have that is typical of a person who exhausts themselves taking care of a loved one who canít care for themselves. You will be a long time healing your grief and loss, but it will be longer and harder if you donít recognize your caregivers exhaustion. Please read about it so you can heal completely. You have my admiration and understanding.

I was my sweet husbandís caregiver for 7 impossibly difficult and sad months. Our 4 children were there for us but in the end when he died I looked like I had cancer too. Itís incredibly hard. Losing them is even harder. So please recognize the extent of your love and the extent of his appreciation despite what you think. You need a little TLC and pampering while you try to return to your new normal. So please take care of yourself and know that you did all that love can do. It was a great loving sacrifice you gave willingly. Now love yourself because the rest of us sure do. Best wishes.

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