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My response is to directly ask your friend how you can help and be supportive.
I just had my 7th chemo and I find in meeting with a support group that the effects that I am experiencing are far different that what others experience. I also hear of very different reactions to the same thing effects. Some can handle them quite well; others face challenges.
I like people to ask me how things are going. And for them to ask what they might do. I had some friends wanting to make food for me -- somewhat special (flavorful or spicy) foods. But, they did not realize that my tumor has adversely impacted my insulin production as well as my digestive enzyme production and my system cannot necessarily handle the things that they wanted to prepare for me. I heard from another person that they felt slighted when I said that I did not want the things that they were going to provide. If they would have asked what I needed, that problem could have been avoided.
On the other hand, my energy level has not been adversely affected. Thus, a maid service is not needed, and to assume I needed that assistance would have been superfluous as well as not considering my needs or wants.
But, other people have totally different impacts from their tumor -- such as no changes in their insulin or digestive enzyme levels -- and much loss of energy from the tumor and/or treatment. We are individuals with individual situations.
So, to re-emphasize my suggestion above -- ask your friend what THEY need or want. For me, that respects who I am as an individual, rather than making assumptions of what is happening for and with me.
Thanks so much for caring about your friend and for asking others for
suggestions. You are a true friend!!
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