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Each of us handles the concern of cancer differently and I hope that you can find the way which works for you, whether it is through a religious leader, a support group, friends, meditation tapes, self-help books.
I have pancreatic cancer which was diagnosed in November, with a CA 19-9 of above 34,500. It is not currently operable due to its location vis-a-vis other organs and blood vessels. The goal is to reduce both through chemo to the extent where surgery will be feasible.
I have been through 6 chemos and a re-test after 4 showed minimal shrinkage of the tumor, but a reduction in the CA 19-9 to 5,800, which is still very high.
I have found complete acceptance and calmness of my situation and hope that you can find the same.
My acceptance is based in part of my decades old hobby of genealogy and my love of all things in nature. In both situations, people, plants and animals are born, live a life, and pass away. I accept that I too will pass away, whether from cancer or from some other cause. In the meantime, I will do my best to live my life to the fullest.
Early detection is the best weapon against cancer. I hope that you will have the necessary tests done immediately and that you find a way to miminize the fears that you have and gain the support that you need.
My very best wishes for you -- and all of us with cancer.
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