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Pancreas Cancer

Honesty was posted 08/05/2016 10:03 pm by Anonymous
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People can be cruel, even when they love you. I can say for certain that it took three years before I began to feel even a little bit normal regarding energy after Whipple surgery. And that was after I got my diet and digestion pretty much under control, and I stopped losing weight. I am not the same after Whipple surgery. I have never regained the strength and stamina I had before surgery. Things are OK now, but it took three full years before I saw a noticeable improvement. I retired after returning to work and working six months. It made a huge difference in my quality of life not having to face the daily traffic and stress of my job. The first year after surgery, you deal with serious physical recovery. Plus the mental challenge of having been diagnosed with one of the deadliest cancers. Mentally, it is hard to see a future with you in it. You see and feel the pain of your loved ones who want to help, but feel helpless. Year three, I came unglued emotionally, having prepared myself for death, and then facing having to live life after surgery with its side affects, but more specifically the challenge of life after cancer diagnosis even though I survived it. Life goes on. There are months now when all is OK, and then there are episodes of being knocked completely off my feet for a day or so. Pain, fever, chills, then it all goes away and life is normal for a while again. Dealing with diabetes after surgery. Dependent on Creon for digestion. Food is always an issue although you get used to it. Every health challenge - thinking is it a recurrence? The doubt and fear are always there, they lessen with time but never completely go away. Yet, you keep it to yourself to protect your loved ones. As much as people love you - NO ONE who has not been through this can fully understand the feeling you have of being totally violated. The very essence of your being laid open. Having to remember to just breathe. Maybe I have said too much. But really, this is a hard experience. Loved ones may over do it in trying to get you to be 'normal' and get back to the life you had before. I don't think that is possible. You get close, and reach a new normal, and have a good quality of life, but not quite the way you were before. You will not be the same ever. No one should expect that of you. I hope your health and strength improves, and that your loved ones can show a little more empathy.

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