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Pancreas Cancer

whether to visit or not was posted 12/11/2000 11:14 am by Francesca
E-mail Address: Fkellysun@aol.com

Message Text
Dear Wanda,My brother is in the end stages of pancreatic cancer. He, too, is pretty depressed. He is unmarried and has moved back in with my mother, who is caring for him with some outside help. Both my sister and I live in Rome, Italy, and each of us had made the time to go and see him in New Jersey, even though it was very inconvenient to do so. The reasons we went were to see our brother one last time, to let him know we loved him (in the way that made him most comfortable, i.e., through actions rather than sloppy emotional speeches!), and perhaps more than anything, to provide physical and emotional support to our mother (my sister and I went at different times to be of the most use). My brother was in fact quite depressed and my being there at first didn't seem to affect him much. But because I was so matter-of-fact about everything, yet still encouraging and cheery, I could see him perking up in a few days. Nothing big, but every little bit made me feel glad I was there. And the effect of having someone else to lean on was wonderful for my mother. So my advice is to go, and tell yourself that if you only just go to see your brother (not necessarily tell him anything if he can't handle that) and to help your sister-in-law, who surely will need the help, that's more than enough reason to go. I am now back in Rome and I'm so very glad I went for that visit. It's one of the most important things I've ever done. Wish I could go again - I have four young children and it's hard to leave them.Hang in there,Francesca

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*DISCLAIMER: This page is an unmoderated forum, and the opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the viewpoint of The Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions. Patients are advised to consult their personal physicians before making any medical decisions.
FULL DISCLAIMER


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