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Pancreas Cancer

Dad/Mom Update was posted 11/30/2000 03:17 pm by Brenda in Canada
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First of all, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your excellent advice re: why my poor mother is acting the way she is. I took your collective advice and went over to see her at noon. I took her some flowers (which is easy as my husband owns a flower shop!!) -- complimented her on how well she has been handling dispensing Dad's meds and told her she had made me an excellent cup of tea. She's still pretty mad at me (the homecare worker confirmed it -- apparently Mom told her she was livid with me for "taking over and arranging everything" (she means the 24-hour nursing care, the assistive devices which will be installed in the bedroom and bathroom as well as the commode chair/walker and the electric hospital bed that are all arriving this afternoon - but hey, if it works to help her settle down and Dad can stay at home --- it's worth a little "motherly wrath" --- I called my sister on the west coast and told her all that had been happening and she told me that although Mom is very resentful and hostile right now (trying to put up roadblocks at every turn!!) - she truly feels that 6 months down the road, she'll be glad I intervened. (Could be a little longer than that I think - she's pretty mad!!) I had a heart-to-heart talk with the Nursing supervisor as well as our family doctor, both of whom confirmed that they were well aware of Mom's hostile attitude --- but that it was because she has not been able to come to terms with Dad's illness --- and basically is completely overwhelmed by everything that's happening. They told me just to get everything in place re: nursing/ assistive devices - and wait and see how she then handles everything ... even offered to fund a couple of visits to a therapist for her ... if I can get her to go. Anyway, thanks again for your affection, concern and excellent advice. Brenda

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