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Pancreas Cancer

Caretaking was posted 07/30/2011 10:54 am by Exhausted Daughter
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This is the first time I've had a chance to write since this whole saga began. I've had one sibling (who lives far away) on board to help for a few weeks but now I am completely alone and overwhelmed.

I know the rules of caretaking (and am taking care of myself with eating, sleeping and light exercise, a few days a week; I don't have any time for a social life or anything else at this time.), I have done this before, and it is exhausting. And quite frankly, I've never felt so alone in all my life.

Can anyone suggest sites or support groups for caretakers? One of the most tiring things (which I forgot about) is just how stubborn, grumpy the patient (a parent) can be. In this case, I don't think these are medical/physical problems, just emotional ones. Not used to be taken care of. Hating being a patient for so long? Although I think the medical prognosis is going to be excellent.

Normally I have a wonderful relationship with Mother but now I'm the object of all the parent's irritation, annoyance. I don't expect undying gratitude or even thanks, but how do you react to being the person in the family who has to 'take' all the patient's irritation? I am not super sensitive, but weeks and weeks of working, driving to and from the hospital, tending to all her needs and now at home have taken a toll.

I took care of my beloved Godmother and the last few months of her life, she became demanding, irritable and critical of me. Most of the things are such minor matters, which makes it all the more difficult to take after working like a virtual well....I hate to say it, but... I'll say it....slave.

I just 'took' some of the mild abuse from my Godmother, but it didn't sit right with me or our relationship, after she died I wondered whether there is a middle ground where you draw a line and say: 'I don't appreciate being talked to like that.' Yet, as someone who is fighting a major illness, I would never talk back or would never be harsh.

Again, I want to point out that Mother is expected to have a good prognosis, but there will be a few months of recovery. Also there was a another medical issue that made her recovery longer and somewhat more complicated.

Also, I know many of you will suggest 'get help' but no one is offering money is extremely, extremely tight and many of the things I need help on require someone to live here.

As I said, I feel so alone.

Thank you for reading. God bless all of you.



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