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Pancreas Cancer

Patient Perspective was posted 06/30/2011 02:14 pm by Stephen In CA
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From a patient perspective, when we are ill we have to give up control. This is very hard to do, I assume your a spouse as well as the primary giver.

So here is what my wife/caregiver did to me. She gave me I am not your mother lecture, which worked for maybe 5 mins. Then she gave me the for better and worse - speech which worked for 15 mins.

Finally, she left the house and left me to care for myself. She tended to her needs for the day. (she had the neighbors check up on me she gave the entire family the day off). When the called, I told them everything was okay and I can look after myself.

Well guess what I did not die and I found, I was capable of doing things on my own.

The best line was see honey it did not kill you to do things on your own. Which I replied, no it did not kill me nor did the cancer. We laughed and yes I still have my moments; however they are far and few between.

Take time for yourself, an recharge yourself. My caregiver, will not allow me to play the cancer card anymore. In fact, cancer is a word that is banned from my vocabulary along with can't.

This is coming from someone that was on chemo straight for 11 months. 3 operations in less then year. Last one lasting 8 hrs and being in comatose state for 8 days. Stage IV pancreatic cancer. Currently I am NED.

I have run out of excuse not to be able to do things on my own.

Big IF, I get ill again my caregiver will be besides me tending to my needs with pleasure and not as duty as I have given her the respect she so rightly deserves.

My wife/caregiver did not get the manual 'How to care for a love one stricken with cancer' and I am sure you did not either. It is on the job training. Your doing your best and he is not making it an easier on you or himself. Let him know how you feel.



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*DISCLAIMER: This page is an unmoderated forum, and the opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the viewpoint of The Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions. Patients are advised to consult their personal physicians before making any medical decisions.
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